Surprise At 30,000 Feet

Let me begin by saying that I travel a lot. I'm a firm believer that you see what a person is really made of when they travel. You either see the best in people or the worst. What I saw of the man next to me on my last flight was not quite what I had expected. Here is my most recent airplane story:

About a week ago, I was boarding a flight from Nashville to LA. Luckily, the flight was only half full so the middle seat was open, leaving me by the window and a guy in the aisle seat. Perfect! I really don't like making small talk with people on planes so I've sort of trained myself to fall asleep before the flight takes off. By the time I wake up, we are past 10,000 feet and I can either use my Ipod or watch a DVD on my laptop. Great plan, huh?

It's about two and half hours into the flight and I still haven't talked to Mr. Aisle Seat. I sort of have to go to the bathroom and all of the sudden Mr. Aisle Seat gets up so I decide to follow. This is where it gets funny. I failed to see which way he went so I assumed he went to the restroom in the back. After all, the restroom sign in the front of the plane said it was open so I head in that direction. I grab the door and jerk it open only to see Mr. Aisle Seat relieving himself. What are the chances?! I quickly shut the door and walk to the rear of the plane to use to use the other bathroom. Unfortunately, some fella was taking a really long time so I had to stand there for about 10 minutes (no lie) and wait patiently. The stewardess offered me a free magazine to pass time so I took it and began reading. The guy finally comes out and I wearily head in, go number 1 and quickly leave. It was not until I was about half way back to my seat when I realized how bad this looked. I am returning from the bathroom after 15 minutes - carrying a magazine! Mr. Aisle Seat had to think that I was doing more than just 'number 1'. Embarrassing....

Now begins the awkward conversation:
Mr. Aisle Seat: "Were you the one who walked in on me?"
Me: "Yup."
Mr. Aisle Seat: "I'm sorry. I thought I locked the door."
Me: "No worries. Happens to the best of us." (trying to make him feel better)

This turns into 5 minutes of awkward conversation that neither of us cares about. He obviously did not get the "I don't want to talk" vibe I was throwing out - even though I have one headphone in my ear and the other suspended about two inches away from the other. He noticed that I was watching Office Space and begins talking about that and his office and his boss and yada, yada, yada - I don't care! After awhile I ended the conversation quickly by nodding in agreement and putting in my other headphone. Rude? Maybe. But it was totally worth it to escape the half-hearted conversation. I didn't talk to him for the rest of the flight.

One other thing that I found particularly amusing (yet incredibly repulsive) was that Mr. Aisle Seat had been throwing the mac down on the new flight attendant for 4 & 1/2 hours. When we landed he immediately called his wife and began gushing about how much he missed her and loved her, etc! What in the heck!? I certainly hope that all married/spoken for me don't act that way or I am in a world of trouble....